For Christmas last year, I decided to buy my parents a short break to Frankfurt in Germany, which wasn’t especially cheap; flights with British Airways, a four-star hotel in the city centre and tickets to see André Rieu and his Johann Strauss Orchestra at the Frankfurt Festhalle. That concert was scheduled for 29 February 2012.

Much to their disappointment (and mine), the concert was cancelled on 23 February with the email explaining “Andre Rieu has been certified unfit for the concerts in Stuttgart, Düsseldorf and Frankfurt by his doctor”. It was a shame that the trip was not going to go ahead quite as planned and my parents now had a purposeless trip to make. The email went on to explain that a new date would be announced in the coming days and tickets would be refunded if the new date was not convenient.

The new date of 11 October 2012 was announced four days after receiving the cancellation email, and, of course, it wasn’t convenient. My parents had no plans to be in Germany on that date and paying for another trip to Germany made no sense at all. The instructions in the email were followed and the tickets were sent back days later – at a cost of £5.63! It was important that the tickets were signed for on delivery, just to ensure that nobody could claim that they had never been received.

According to Royal Mail, the tickets were delivered to Köln Ticket just six days after sending, and I waited for my refund to be processed. Weeks later, I had received no correspondence from the company and my money had still not been returned to me. Dealing with a German company was almost certainly going to be an impossible task and I didn’t expect my abrupt email (written in English) to be completely understood, but it was. Sort of.

The two line response explained that the tickets had not been received and that without them, my money could not be returned. In my response, I included a scan of my post office receipt and a screenshot of the Royal Mail website, which confirmed that the tickets had been delivered in Germany on the specified date. The same response came back – the tickets had not been received and I could not get a refund.

The already disappointing situation became even more disappointing. First, a cancelled concert and now the risk of losing rather a lot of money (around €150) because the tickets had apparently not been received at Köln Ticket’s office in Germany. Köln Ticket hadn’t received them but Royal Mail (and their equivalent in Germany) claimed that they had been delivered. It was a frustrating situation to be in.

Giving up with the organiser, I decided to approach André Rieu himself (or rather his administrative people) and they were not an easy bunch to contact. Without a postal or email address published on his website, I decided to ramble on about my dissatisfaction on his guestbook. My post obviously wasn’t published but I did received a response from a lady in Andre’s ‘Legal Affairs’ department and she told me that she would pass my complaint to the concert promoter – Roland Temme Gruppe.

A prompt reply was received and the gentleman contacting me asked for as much information as possible, which I just as quickly provided; the receipt for my concert tickets, my proof of posting and copies of my email correspondence with Köln Ticket. That was the last I heard.

For all sorts of reasons, I really wish that I did not purchase these tickets. Firstly, dealing with a non-English speaking company is impossible (especially when you run into difficulties). Secondly, should I ever be refunded the cost of the tickets, I will be out of pocket; €10.00 ticket delivery charge, the £5.63 spent on sending these tickets back, the £7.00 my bank is going to charge me for receiving the refund and the less favourable bank buying rate that will be used to convert Euros into Sterling.

Royal Mail also deserve to be criticised for their part in this matter. It was emphasised when sending the tickets at my local Post Office in Winnersh that the envelope must be signed for upon receipt – which presumably explains the extortionate £5.63 fee. After contacting Royal Mail to ask for a copy of the receiving person’s signature, I am told that I must complete a P58 form and return it to them by post. If they can tell me on their website that my tickets have been delivered (and even provide me with the date of delivery), then why can they not provide me with a signature or at least a name of the person who signed for them? Without holding this information, how they can they be so sure that an item of mail has been delivered? For a premium delivery service, this is a really quite sloppy process!

My first membership came to an end in 2008 after becoming more and more dissatisfied with the levels of cleanliness at Loddon Valley. Even paying only £18 a month for the use of the swimming pool, it offered disappointing value for money and the unbearable sewage-like stench soon became too much to bear on the poolside. It was time to call it a day.

Earlier this year, I had started to make occasional visits to Loddon Valley again. Standards had improved slightly and by swimming first thing in the morning, when the cleaners were working hard at keeping the centre in tip-top condition, it was the best time of day to be there. With these swims becoming more and more regular, becoming a member again seemed a sensible option.

On receiving a call one day from a member of staff at St Crispin’s (his call the result of me once expressing interest in a membership), he talked me through the options available. Choosing a membership with my local gym was more confusing than choosing a mobile phone contract, however! ‘Gym and swim’ combinations required members to commit to lengthy contracts or face paying ridiculous amounts on a monthly rolling contract – £42 being the price quoted to me initially, reduced to £37 after much hesitation. At the time, I did not know what the future of my job was. I was not convinced that my current employer could afford to keep me for very much longer, and, as was explained to the worker at St Crispin’s, I did not want to be paying for a gym membership if I were to lose my job.

After settling for the ‘pure water’ membership allowing use of the swimming pools only, I was assured that this was a good option given my circumstances. As a rolling contract, it was explained that if I found myself out of work, I could opt out at a moment’s notice. It seemed like decent deal and I decided to go ahead, eventually signing up in person at Carnival Pool later in the day. This time, I incurred a sign-up fee of around £14 and membership was priced at a far-from-competitive £24.95 a month – a huge hike on the prices of 2008!

Out of works just a few weeks later, it was a priority for me to cancel the Direct Debit and to make Leisure Connection aware of my circumstances and my intentions. Paying on the last working day of the month for the month ahead, I cancelled this payment with my bank on 30 April. The month of April had been paid for and I did not wish to use or pay for the month of May.

Loddon Valley staff were unsurprisingly useless at dealing with me. They could not find me on their system and insisted that I speak to the Carnival Pool, where I had signed up. They too had some difficulty in locating me and soon had to search by address – eventually realising that an error on their part had resulted in my name being incorrectly on the system as Michael Sylvester. The staff member that I spoke to quickly pointed out that I was expected to give 30 days of notice to terminate my membership – not what was explained previously!

The worker failed to understand my circumstances and dismissed my allegations of mis-selling, which was effectively how Leisure Connection signed me up – saying and doing whatever was necessary (including lying) to make me become a member. Despite making it especially clear about my work situation prior to signing up, the company felt it was acceptable to demand £24.95 from me when I was not in receipt of a salary payment that month. I was asked to send an email to Loddon Valley, which I did straight away. I raised concerns about mis-selling and the rushed enrolment process. Had the company have properly explained the terms and conditions of membership to me (and warned me of a 30-day termination policy, regardless of my circumstances), I would not have signed up. I was also not encouraged to read the terms and conditions and instead asked to sign.

11 days after sending that email and without any reply from somebody in authority at Carnival Pool, I received a text message from Leisure Connection. They asked me to call them because I was apparently in arrears, which I gladly did. Explaining my reasons for not making the payment, I was again ignored and told that because I had agreed to the terms and conditions, I was expected to pay for the month of May – a month during which I had not visited any Leisure Connection site.

Frankly, this is not a company worthy of anybody’s business. Mis-selling and dishonest staff, a sloppy standard of customer service and intimidating tactics to get customers to pay; bailiffs and threats of court. Given the choice of making payment or going to court, I will choose court. Failings on the company’s part to respond to my complaint might assure any judge that mistakes were also made during the sign-up process.

I would urge anybody considering a keep-fit membership to steer clear of Leisure Connection altogether.

Another member who claims to have been mis-sold Leisure Connection membership talks about here experiences on The Consumer Action Group form – click here

I was after some good quality accommodation in Florida at a good price and after endless hours of searching, I stumbled across the Terrace Ridge Resort using Opodo. For around £37 a night, I was expecting to get a 2-bedroom apartment on this pleasant looking complex.

On arrival, we had to visit the holiday rental company’s office on the US highway 192, which was very easy to find. It took about 10 minutes to check our paperwork and to talk us through our rental before the keys were handed over and then we jumped in the car for the short drive to the resort, located in Davenport – a little over 13 miles away from Disneyworld.

The resort was located away from the hustle and bustle of touristy Orlando, which was a definite bonus. I have visited Orlando before and did not want to be surrounded by holidaymakers, gift ‘outlets’ and theme parks. It was a perfect, almost rural setting, just seconds away from the roads that led to everywhere you could ever want to go in Orlando.

We arrived at Terrace Ridge shortly after 9.00pm. What was nice was that the resort was accessible only via a secure gate, which required a code for access. The clear signage in and around the resort and on the buildings themselves meant that we could easily find our apartment. Just as was requested, our room was on the top floor of a three storey building – that was as big as the buildings got.

The apartment itself was of an excellent size and more than adequate for the two of us staying there. Despite requesting a 2-bedroom apartment, we were surprised to be given a third bedroom, which we had little need for. We entered through the front door into a large open-plan living area; kitchen, living room and dining area. The full-size kitchen was equipped with everything you would expect to find there – oven, microwave, fridge/freezer, dishwasher and more. Behind a door in the kitchen were laundry facilities. The living area offered two large settees (with seating for five), a coffee table, a large television with a wide selection of channels and a CD player. The large dining table offered seating for six and was set up with place-mats, cutlery and napkins for our arrival.

As you enter the apartment, the master bedroom is to the right and that was also of an excellent size, complete with en-suite shower facilities and a walk-in wardrobe. There was plenty of storage in the room, a large dresser and another television.

At the far end of the apartment was a huge bathroom and two further bedrooms. Both were again of excellent proportions. One of the rooms offered two twin beds, whilst the other other a double. All of the three bedrooms in the apartment offered televisions of varying sizes.

Throughout the apartment were no shortage of cupboards, all holding various surprises, whether it was the many freshly laundered bathroom towels or beach towels, cool boxes, ironing boards and irons, soaps, laundry detergents and more. Many of these were items that more expensive hotels don’t provide, so it was nice to see that the owners were taking good care of us.

Also included in the price were local calls on the telephone and wireless internet access.

The resort itself was nice, modern and clean, and the apartment buildings were arranged in a circle, with the resort pool and hot tub in the middle of the resort, along with the clubhouse. Both the swimming pool and the clubhouse required a keycard for access, which meant that if anybody managed to gain access to the resort, unauthorised persons could not make use of the facilities. The clubhouse and swimming pool could both be access between 6.00am and 11.30pm.

Inside the well-equipped clubhouse was a kitchen area, a compact but adequate gym, a lounge area, a full size pool table and table football (both free), an arcade-style games machine (also free), a TV area and wireless internet access. The rear of the clubhouse opened onto the square pool area, complete with hot tub (in a shady area). The endless supply of sun loungers meant that there was plenty of room for everybody to enjoy some sunny fun by the pool.

My stay here was most enjoyable. The apartment offered exceptional value for money, the facilities were second-to-none and, based on this visit, I doubt I would ever stay in an Orlando hotel again. For considerably less money than a 3-4* hotel in Orlando, you too can enjoy this home from home.

My only recommendation would be that you don’t stay here without access to a hire car, unless you are happy to spend lots of money on taxis. The Orlando attractions are not close by and public transport is not available in the area. The nearest supermarket is Publix and that is approximately 1 mile away. The roads between the resort and the supermarket are not well lit and there are no footpaths to walk on, so it probably isn’t worth walking.

All of the websites that I used kept to their pre-Christmas delivery promises – even when ordering in the last minutes of the last shopping day. And whilst all were very efficient in processing my sale and dispatching my items, the same cannot be said for the returns procedure of one particular online retailer – Play.com.

For my sister, I bought an Archos tablet PC, which we later decided would probably see little use. This iPad-like computer had lots of functions, but she had a netbook, a digital camera and an iPhone, so we decided to return it, get the money, and shop for something else.

Logging into my account on Play.com, the returns process was surprisingly simple. It was just a case of selecting the item from a history of purchases, providing a reason for return and then waiting for a returns authorisation, which would arrive “within 1 working day”. Where a customer simply changes their mind about a purchase, the returns postage is not covered by Play.com, which I think is fair enough. Only where the item is not as described or where there is a fault will the company reimburse you.

After making the returns request on 29 December, I checked my email on the following day – but nothing. Play.com had not contacted me within the 1 working day. I assumed that delays would be inevitable following the busiest time of the year for all retailers, so I decided to give them a couple of days more to contact me.

Two weeks later and still without the all-important returns authorisation, I decided to make contact using the company’s premium rate 0845 number (Incidentally, if you do you ever have the need to contact the company, instead use the cheaper geographic number – 0207 760 3349). After much holding, I was transferred to an offshore call centre, where the worker claimed to “understand” my frustrations and was “sorry” for the inconvenience, albeit in very broken English. No explanation was given for the delay and arrangements were made for the computer to be collected by a courier chosen by the company. The cost of the return (£9.95) was to be deducted from the refund amount.

The package was collected by DPD UK and delivered to Play.com within 24 hours and signed for on the morning of 13 January by a chap known only as Alan.

Another two weeks on and I am still without my refund, still without any contact from the company and still quite frustrated at this tedious process. Another telephone call proves to be a waste of time. I am told that my return has not been received at the warehouse and that nothing can be done until it has been. Despite me insisting that the call centre worker speak with the courier to confirm it had been delivered, she wouldn’t. Instead, she offered to put a trace on the package and to ask that somebody contact me with an update within 24-48 hours. That was 24 hours ago.

So far, the process has taken 28 days, and I am still no closer to getting a refund from the company. Clueless offshore staff prove to be a waste of time, trying to get hold of somebody in the UK who properly understands my frustrations is impossible and the promised “we’ll respond to your email within 1 working day” isn’t exactly guaranteed.

Don’t waste your time or your money with this shoddy company.

On their website, STA Travel say We’re so confident that we have the best flight prices anywhere that we guarantee to beat your quote or we’ll give you your next flight for FREE! With a price direct from the airline, I approached them, but one of their ridiculous terms and conditions stated that they could not beat the price offered by an airline – whatever happened to best flight prices anywhere? Since they couldn’t beat that price, I offered them the next cheapest fare, which again they found excuses not to match.

In the end, I gave up on STA Travel and would encourage others to do the same. Their service is appalling and their Price Beat Guarantee is, well, not really guaranteed at all.

I contacted STA Travel by email this morning and am awaiting their reply. Just as soon as I hear back, the reply will no doubt end up on here, because I have a feeling I won’t be getting the free flight that I am owed.

Have you also been affected by a price promise guarantee by STA Travel or any other travel agency? Post your comments below or contact me with your stories!

From: Michael Kinghorn
Sent: 14 January 2012 11:39
To: ‘customer.relations@statravel.co.uk’
Subject: The STA Travel Price Beat Guarantee – Complaint
Importance: High

Dear STA Travel,

Reading your website, I was drawn to the page that talks about your ‘price beat guarantee’, where you make the claim, ‘We’re so confident that we have the best flight prices anywhere that we guarantee to beat your quote or we’ll give you your next flight for FREE!’

On the evening of Friday 13 January, I wanted to book a return flight to Bangkok with Oman Air, and, as always, I had spent some hours researching the best possible prices using every travel website that I could think of – yours included. It was my intention to travel on Wednesday 4 April on flight WY102 from London Heathrow to Muscat connecting onto WY817 to Bangkok. I planned to return on Monday 16 April on flight WY814 to Muscat connecting onto WY101 to London Heathrow – joining my family who were already booked on these very same flights.

Contrary to the bold statement made on your website, you were not offering the best flight prices anywhere, as I found no end of websites selling my preferred flights for less than STA Travel’s £660.86 fare. I was drawn to the airline’s own website – www.omanair.com – where the same flight could be purchased for £650.86. Aware of your guarantee, I wasted no time in contacting your call centre, keen to get myself a better deal.

Calling shortly before 7.30pm, it took approximately 30 minutes to get through to one of your workers. The better price was pointed out and it was explained that you could not match any price quoted by an airline, which, I later found was mentioned in your terms and conditions. Still, it seems ludicrous to me. You really shouldn’t be making such wild claims about how your prices are guaranteed to be the cheapest when clearly they aren’t. But armed with a list of websites offering the same flight for pennies more, I started to point out more. If you weren’t able to beat the £650.86 offered by booking directly with Oman Air, you would surely beat the £651.00 offered by Flight Catchers. As per your terms and conditions, I offered to send a screenshot of the price at the final booking stage and to send it by email, but that was apparently a problem. With no management in the office to receive the email, the price could not be verified and the flight price could not be beaten. Point five in your terms and conditions states that STA Travel will check the quote for availability and booking conditions that same day – why could this not happen? Why was it necessary for an email to be sent? Surely, your staff have access to competitor’s websites so that cheaper prices can be confirmed quickly and easily?

Earlier this morning (Saturday), having booked my ticket with a cheaper provider, I contacted STA Travel again, this time to point out my concerns about the handling of my request. Again, it was somebody who did not understand the terms of the price beat guarantee. He told me that STA Travel had 24 hours to check the prices – which contradicts item 5 (mentioned above) and item 6 (the only term that makes any reference to a 24 hour investigation period – but only if there is suspicion over the price quoted). There was no suspicion over the price and at least two websites were allowing to me to purchase a trip at a price less than that of STA Travel.

Attached are three images – a screenshot of the price offered by Flight Catchers and another showing your price (both as of about 10 minutes ago – but still clearly showing that you are not the cheapest provider) and a screenshot of my confirmation email from Oman Air.

Your guarantee clearly states that if a price cannot be beaten, the traveller is entitled to a free flight (or travel credit) for a future booking. I have provided you with sufficient information here to disprove your best flight price claims and, since you no doubt record calls to your call centre, you might also like to retrieve the recordings of the calls made on the evening of Friday 13 January and again on the morning of Saturday 14 January.

I look forward to seeing you soon to book my free flight to Thailand, which I expect I will take towards the end of the year.

In anticipation,

Michael Kinghorn

When I was in Florida in early September, I made some enquiries with the school that carried out the bulk of my flight training – Orlando Flight Training – and they said it would be possible for me to renew with them. Having flown so many hours over there, the familiar territory made the renewals there an appealing option, but the biggest advantage was the huge saving to be had. Inclusive of fuel surcharges and an instructor, the school’s Beech Duchess works out at around £200 per hour – a vast saving on the prices back at home.

Unfortunately, time was fast running out on my week-long visit to Florida, and it soon became apparent that I wouldn’t be able to squeeze in some refresher flights and an assessment before it was time for me to leave.

Back at home, I worked out the cost of completing my renewals in Florida compared to the UK, and I was slightly taken aback by the huge difference in price. In the UK, four hours of familiarisation flying, aircraft hire for the test, approach and landing fees and examiner fees were pushing £2,800. In Florida, however, where there are no approach fees (and very rarely are there any landing fees), the bill was to be a tad over £1,300. It was a no-brainer for me!

Even the cost of booking a flight, accommodation and a car in Florida hasn’t brought the overall cost anywhere near to that of the UK, and I am still at least £800 better off and with a nice week-long trip to sunny Florida to look forward to as well.

So, departure date is set for Saturday 3 December and it is at lunchtime that I set off on the 9-hour trip across the Atlantic to Orlando. It was my preference to fly with British Airways but their cheapest fare went up considerably in price and I ended up booking a seat with Riff Raff Airways (Virgin Atlantic) from the awful Gatwick south terminal – an airport and a terminal that I try to avoid wherever possible!

On arrival, I grab my nice big Chevrolet Equinox and head off to a rather nice looking 2-bedroom apartment at a complex called Terrace Ridge in Davenport. It is ideally located for the all the touristy attractions (all of which I have done to death already) and only a 15-minute drive from my flying base whilst in Florida – Kissimmee. Or for the flying people amongst you – ISM or KISM.

The cost of flying in the UK is something I am very bitter about. The high cost of aircraft hire, the excessive fuel surcharges and ludicrous landing and approaching fees mean that it is not really a suitable place to keep current. Whilst schools in the United States continue to offer such affordable rates, that is where I will continue to go to keep my currency.

Anyway, I got to the first window where you place your order and pay and the worker put it into the till and then even went to the trouble of confirming the four meals that had been ordered (not all for me, of course) and a side of onion rings. She took the £20 total and asked me to drive to the next window.

After a further 5 minutes of waiting at the next window, I was asked to pull into a parking space and to wait for my food – thus defeating the object and the convenience of a ‘drive thru’ meal. Much waiting later, the meal was delivered to the car and I drove back to work and excitedly unpacked the food, only to discover that somebody had forgotten to pack my onion rings. Unfortunately for me, however, the staff at the restaurant hadn’t forgotten to charge me for them.

I have always been one to complain and it is no doubt Barclays and their “a complaint is a gift” motto, which has seen me making complaints at every opportunity. Today was to be no exception and I jumped on the phone and expressed my anger at the sloppy service. With petrol prices being so high these days and with my lunch break now down to about 10 minutes – thanks to the slowest fast food staff in the world – there were plenty of reasons not to make the 3 mile journey back there.

Anyway, I was quickly offered the replacement onion rings on my next visit and a free meal to apologise for the inconvenience. I will definitely take up the offer and look forward to tucking into my complimentary meal – courtesy of Ronald and the gang – some time soon.

There was another incident recently at Superdrug in Wokingham. A blatant pricing error by incompetent staff in the store meant that an item I wanted for £19.99 was actually going to set me back £37.99 – no chance! The item in question was a bottle of aftershave and being positioned behind the till, it meant that no customer could ever get to the shelf to fiddle with the price labels!

A young lady (or more appropriately, ‘girl’) came along and her name badge identified her as ‘Manager’. She couldn’t make eye contact to explain the problem and she didn’t apologise for the mistake. In fact, she didn’t see it as a mistake. The product on the shelf was a ‘vaporiser’, whilst the price label was for a ‘spray’. But whilst she couldn’t figure out that these words had exactly the same meaning (effectively making them the same products), I could, and I continued to argue. Anyway, like an adolescent teenager, she soon marched off and muttered, “how many times have I got explain it?” as she left.

Logging onto Superdrug.com, full of anger, I wasn’t after compensation for the frankly embarrassing behaviour of the worker in the store, I just wanted to know how the two products differed and a personal apology for the distress caused. There was, of course, no real ‘distress’ caused, but it’s such a great word to use.

A few days later, I received a response. Whoever was writing back to me clearly wasn’t up to the job. They completely overlooked my complaint about the awful manager working in the store and instead waffled on about how ‘vaporiser’ and ‘spray’ are two different products (no, they’re not) before making a feeble gesture of £5.00 for the upset. I was quick to respond and insisted that I be taken seriously. I demanded the apology I was after, again asked about the same product that they were trying to pass off as two, and I told the company to keep the pathetic voucher that was offered.

A few more days pass and I receive another response. I get the apology I wanted, the company confirms that they made a mistake with their pricing and their offer of compensation is increased to a more satisfying £30.00.

As happy as I was with their response and goodwill gesture, I only wish they would have allowed me to make the purchase I wanted at the price that was indicated. It would still have meant a loss to the company – but only £18.00 – a far cry from the £30.00 they ended up giving to me.

If ever you’re unhappy with something, it pays to complain! Rant over.

My licence sits in the drawer and that's where it has been for almost a year now. It came out for a flying trip to Florida but it hasn't moved since.

Like everybody else in the same situation as me, I have worked incredibly hard towards the issuance of my ATPL (airline transport pilot licence). It took around 18 months of training, 5 practical tests, 16 written papers, 3 medicals, a couple of hundred hours in the air and more. And it was in November 2010 that I took delivery of my shiny new licence.

Now, however, the novelty has well and truly worn off, and I am starting to wonder if any of us might have lucky breaks in the airline industry any time soon.

Right now, the ratio of pilots to pilot jobs is astounding, and it doesn’t take a genius to work out that few of us are going to be employed as professional pilots in the near future. And even though the airline recruitment situation is apparently picking up, those as experienced as myself (not very), are probably in the worst situation right now. The airlines seem to be on the lookout for candidates at the opposite ends of the spectrum; the very experienced and the very inexperienced.

I was amazed that so many people had me in mind when British Airways announced a huge recruitment drive in August. Text messages and emails pointed me in the direction of the airline’s website, and I was quick to get on it to see what everybody was talking about. Somehow, I had managed to overlook one of the biggest news stories at the time – that British Airways were to recruit no less than 800 pilots between now and 2016. At last, there was light at the end of the tunnel.

My excitement was short lived, however, since half of the 800 required pilots were to be recruited straight from school or college and then assisted with their flight training fees thanks to a sponsorship scheme, where successful applicants pay back the exorbitant fees over the first 5-10 years of employment. Whilst this is a fantastic opportunity for those who want to fly but who might never have the chance to do so, it is of no help at all to those the no doubt thousands of us who already have the minimum required qualifications for the right seat.

The most frustrating part of job hunting with the airlines is that there are no application acknowledgements and no rejection letters. You just have to assume that your lengthy application form that took you days to complete has been received by the company. Similarly, when you haven’t heard back after months of waiting, you can work out for yourself that you haven’t been successful – on this occasion.

For anybody considering flight training with a view to one day working as a professional pilot (flying and getting paid for it), take a moment to seriously put things into perspective. Most importantly of all, flying is not cheap, and if you plan to go all the way and study for your ATPLs, the complete cost of training can easily reach £60,000 to £100,000, depending upon where in the world you train. And when the training is out of the way, you have to keep finding more and more money just to keep your currency. It really isn’t as simple as getting a licence and being qualified. In time, your experience and ability to handle an aircraft is going fade, so more time in the air (costing more money) is what you will need.

Consider multi-engine flight training for example, which is about as costly as flying gets. In the UK, a multi-engine aircraft (i.e. a Beechcraft Duchess or a Piper Seneca) can cost in the region of £400 to £450 per hour. On top of that, factor in any fuel surcharges, landings and approach fees and the cost of books and materials necessary to keep you clued up on everything aeronautical. And since instrument ratings and multi-engine ratings under JAA are only valid for 12 months, the cost of renewals can easily total a couple of thousand pounds. This is money that you will need to find on top of the money required for building hours whilst job hunting. Some airlines – such as Flybe – will only consider you as an applicant if you fly 50+ hours a year. Flying a single-engine aircraft, this bill alone can sit at around £8,000 a year.

So, if I were looking at to begin flight training now, would I bother? Probably not. It requires a lot of hard work, a lot of patience and a shed load of money. And as I’ve talked about, you certainly won’t be inundated with employment opportunities at the airlines!

It was around lunchtime on Thursday 25 August that I finished work for the trip and the early finish was due to not having done any packing and the fact that I had to pick up my chum, Ian, from Gatwick in the early evening. It felt good to be shutting down the computer and not having to look at the thing again for 11 days!

The following morning, it was around 7.15am that we set off for the airport – Heathrow Terminal 4 – and we arrived in good time for our 10.30am flight to Boston. This wasn’t to be a direct flight, however, and our journey would break in Boston, Massachusetts, for around 2 hours, where it would be necessary to change to a smaller aircraft for the final 3 hour leg of the trip.

Watching the news in the days leading up to our departure, it became clear that somebody, somewhere, was doing everything to stop us from getting away. Not only was Hurricane Irene passing close to the east coast of Florida, bringing tropical storms to the state and potentially closing airports, but New York and Boston were affected by an earthquake only a couple of days before. It was particularly frustrating knowing that our travel plans could be in jeopardy due to two of Mother Nature’s doings. I have had similar luck in the past on two trips to Thailand; one where military protests led to the Foreign Office advising against all but essential travel to the country and another where a fatal plane crash closed Phuket airport for a couple of days – opening just in time for our flight’s arrival there.

The flight was surprisingly good for an American airline. My experience of American carriers is limited to just American, United and now Delta, but Delta was the best of the bunch. The aircraft, a Boeing 767-400, was modern and clean with a good sized TV, complete with audio and video on demand. The staff were attentive and the meal and snack served was adequate. My only gripe was that alcoholic beverages had to be paid for, and at $6 for a beer and $7 for spirits, it wasn’t fantastic value for money! Not only that but payment was only possible by credit card.

So, after just over 7 hours in the hour, we were on the picturesque approach  into Boston’s Logan International Airport and we disembarked only minutes later into a very empty terminal. I had envisaged lengthy and slow-moving lines in immigration, but this wasn’t to be the case. Rather surprisingly, the short queue moved quickly, and after a quick round of 20 questions by the old lady working at the counter, I was allowed to proceed. I took back my passport – complete with a Boston stamp (I’ve not had one of them before) – and fetched by suitcase. Rather annoyingly, when travelling through the USA, you need to collect your baggage and walk through customs before dropping it off at a connections desk. It’s a quick enough process but far from being the most convenient way of doing things for passengers in transit.

After much walking through the empty airport, we soon found ourselves in Delta’s domestic terminal and in a long line for security. As had been the case all day, the workers seemed to chuckle at my friend’s passport picture taken years previously. He had long hair and the jokes continued. It was like the airport workers had never seen a guy with long hair before. Just to be polite, we laughed at every joke, even though we weren’t really amused any more.

Our next flight was under way in no time at all and it was absolutely full, no doubt because Delta only fly the route once a day using one of their ageing McDonnell Douglas MD-88 aircraft in a 3-2 seating configuration. There was just one seat spare and that was just across the aisle from us – the middle seat – which had been purchased by the morbidly obese passenger in seat 11C, presumably to allow him to rest his rather large belly. Whilst this passenger had sensibly purchased a second seat to increase his comfort inflight and so as not to ruin the flight for anybody who might have had the misfortune of sitting next to him, he obviously didn’t take into account the very limited legroom offered by the airline. The man was not only very fat but also very tall and he struggled throughout the flight to get comfortable. When the very elderly gentleman sat in front of him tried to recline his seat, the chubby chap grabbed the seat with both hands and shook it violently. Whilst I had some sympathy for the fat man, it didn’t seem right that others should be inconvenienced.

With nothing in the way of entertainment on this flight except for ‘Sky’ magazine and the awful shopping catalogue, which was full of useless inventions for the home that only an American could need, I spent much of flight watching the fat man across the aisle and it was clear he was in a lot of discomfort. His right leg was covered with a tubey grip and his left leg was firmly squeezed between the seats. He got up at one point to use the toilet and I tilted my head into the aisle as he walked into the toilet at the front of the aircraft. Even now, I am amazed that he managed to do it. They are not the biggest of spaces – even for somebody of my dimensions – so I was surprised to see that he managed it, even if he did have to enter sideways.

Arriving in Orlando, we went along to the Budget car rental counter and picked up the keys for our car for the 8 day stay. Having never driven in Florida before, I decided to be sensible when it came to hiring a vehicle. I booked weeks in advance and requested a 2-door compact car. Arriving at the counter, however, Budget thought they were doing me a favour by offering a “free upgrade” to a considerably larger Toyota Prius. Anyway, despite it taking me a good 5 minutes to start the car every time I needed to, it was quite a nice car and a very quite one too.

A short drive away was the Sheraton Vistana Resort and that was to be our base for all but one night of the trip. The resort was huge and the accommodation was very nice; with two large bedrooms, two bathrooms, a fully equipped kitchen, our own laundry facilities, a large lounge and dining room and a terrace area overlooking a lake. With a countless number of swimming pools on-site along with no end of places to eat, drink and shop, this really was the sort of place that you never really needed to leave. And whilst ‘value for money’ might be the last thing that springs to mind when thinking ‘Sheraton’, I was very surprised at the very affordable food and drink that could be purchase on site and even at the on-site food court, where Pizza Hut, A&W and KFC could all be had for the same low prices.

So, on the morning of the wedding – Will was marrying Fakhri – we went off for a pre-wedding breakfast at Denny’s (not particularly classy, but it was cheap) and then agreed to follow Will to the church. With the wedding only 3 hours away at a church somewhere we had never been to before, it made sense to follow him there, then to return to our accommodation and get ready before making the drive back again. As we stopped at some traffic lights, a car-load of Northerners pulled up alongside us and asked, “Did you know you had a flat tyre?” Thinking about it now, that was perhaps a silly question. Surely nobody would be silly enough to cruise around with a flat tyre, would they?

With the traffic lights now on green, there was no way of getting Will’s attention as he disappeared off into the distance, and we were forced to turn into a grimy shopping centre – The Crossroads – and to find a phone where contact could be made with Budget. With the wedding only hours away, time was of the essence, and that was explained during each of the five telephone calls that were made to the rental company. Despite being promised a 40-minute response, we still hadn’t seen anybody after about 90 minutes, so another call was necessary. In one breath, the woman on the end of the phone told me that a repair man was driving around the car park looking for us, and in another, she told me that he hadn’t been able to find us and that he had gone home. Great!

We had to admit defeat and decided to leave the car in the car park and get a taxi back to the accommodation. Our time was just about up, so we had to quickly wash, shave, iron and dress in the space of about 20 minutes! Fortunately for us, Will was only minutes away. He had been driving around the local area looking for us, still clueless as to where we were.

We arrived at the church in good time and the service got under way. It was a Catholic wedding – not something I have ever experienced before – and it lasted for around an hour, with the service being delivered by quite a few different people and with a lone woman breaking into song now and again. Not familiar with this type of wedding, I didn’t know what to do or say when a man across the aisle approached me mid-service, shook my hand and said, “Peace be with you, brother”, I smiled and replied, “Arr, thanks!” I have since learned that I should offered him my wishes of peace also.

With the service over, we headed next door to a large function room for the reception, where we enjoyed some Champagne and some food. I watched for some time as a lady tried to cut the tiered wedding cake without taking it apart first. She attacked the top tier with a knife and the little plastic legs couldn’t hold any longer. They gave way and the cake came crashing down, which was a shame. She was obviously embarrassed and continued to shake her head in disbelief for some minutes after the incident. With little damage done, we were able to enjoy a slice each, and very tasty it was too!

With the reception over, we headed back to the Sheraton, got changed and then went back to the shopping centre to check out the car. It had been a very warm day and the flat tyre had started to melt into the road! After much more waiting, a repair man finally appeared and change the tyre for us, but the car had to go back to the airport the following morning and a replacement was necessary. And surprise surprise, we received another “free upgrade”, this time to a Chevrolet Malibu. Although a very nice looking car, it was huge, and I wasn’t massively confident about driving the thing, but I gave it a go and soon started to love the thing.

The rest of the week was spent taking advantage of the great weather (before the afternoon storms set in), exploring the local attractions and also doing a bit of flying. It felt strange to be back at Orlando Flight Training again but I really enjoyed it, and even though I didn’t quite manage the number of hours I was hoping for, I did have a biennial flight review and I did a sufficient number of takeoffs and landings to get my JAA CPL currency back again. The two flights that I did saw me travelling the short distance down to Lake Wales for touch and goes.

We also spent a day at Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, which, although expensive, was a lot of fun. Not much had changed in either of the parks since my last visit in April 2010, but the rides were still as exciting as ever. It was just the heat that I found bothersome. With temperatures soaring to 100F, standing in queues was an uncomfortable experience, and the crazy downpour and storm that appeared suddenly in the afternoon was actually quite pleasant. The temperature plummeted and so did the humidity.

With the last 36 hours upon us, it was time to pack up and leave the Sheraton Vistana and to head off to the Caribe Royale on World Center Drive for our last night. It was a surprisingly decent 4* hotel with good, clean facilities and an excellent standard of accommodation. Unlike normal hotel rooms, these were ‘suites’ and apart from offering a bedroom with two rather large beds and a huge TV, there was also a separate lounge area next door, also equipped with a television, fridge and microwave.

After spending the night in the comfortable room, I decided to spend a few hours of the final day sat by the pool before checking out. With a large waterfall and a slide, the pool here put some other hotels to shame. I left the room call for a lift, which soon arrived. Inside was a very old Indian lady with two young children. They came out of the lift and the old lady – complete with zimmer frame – emerged a minute or so later. Just as soon as she was clear of the doors, I went to enter the lift, but the doors closed and the lift disappeared. One of the children then pointed out that they were on the wrong floor and they called for another lift, which soon appeared on the opposite side – about 20 steps for me but a good 5-minute walk for the old lady! Rather impatiently, I barged my way into the lift but the children followed and they assured their gran (or great gran – she really was that old) that they would hold it for her, much to my disappointment. The last hours of my holiday were ticking down and there I was, spending forever waiting for an old lady to get in the lift. The trip from the room to the pool should have taken 90 seconds at most. That morning, however, it took about 10 minutes.

Our flight home was to be operated by Air France and this trip was sure to test us both. Not only was the flight indirect but the stop at Paris Charles-de-Gaulle was to be for five hours, which wasn’t ideal. We stood in line at check-in for a long time and when we reached the desk, I was told that my bag was overweight by 2kg. To be  honest, it all seemed a bit petty to me. Yes, I was carrying a little more than I should have been, but somebody on the same booking as me had a mere 17kg, so I didn’t see the problem? Anyway, feeling tired and not in the mood for an argument and complied with the woman’s request to remove some of the additional weight.

At 8.45pm, we began the 8 hour 20 minute flight to Paris on a Boeing 777, which took us through the night, landing shortly after 11.00am the following morning. As far as comfort was concerned, Air France were acceptable. Just like Emirates, they insist on squeezing 10 seats across in their economy cabin when it should only be nine; as it the case with the vast majority of 777 operators. The slightly reduced seat width is quite noticeable. As for entertainment, however, that was better. A good choice of film, television and music was available on-demand, including recent films like Arthur and Source Code. The meal service was adequate but it seemed to favour quality over quantity. Despite travelling a lot, I have never been handed such a full meal tray in economy before, so Air France put a lot of other carriers to shame. On the tray were two full full size rolls, a coronation chicken starter, a chicken and rice main course, a cherry sponge dessert, cheese and crackers and two bottles; one of red wine and one of rum. It was just a pity that I don’t drink either!

After landing in Paris, the dreaded 5 hour wait began, but we first had to navigate our way through the complicated transit process. Since my last visit to Charles-de-Gaulle back in 2005, a lot had changed, and the terminal was looking newer and fresher, but signage was appalling, staff were rude and queues were crazy. It took forever to get to where we needed to be and it meant clearing immigration and then having to join a lengthy security line to get back through to departures.

After much waiting, we were soon London-bound, again with Air France. After a long wait in a very expensive terminal, I was a little peckish and I couldn’t wait for the trolley of snacks to reach my seat. But when the steward handed me only a can of Coke and a packet peanuts, my jaw dropped. Fair enough, this was only a 40 minute flight, but a packet of peanuts? And worst of all was the fact that the bag contained about five of the things so they didn’t cure my hunger.

And that was that. Florida was officially over. I headed home and eagerly awaited returning to work at 8.30am the next morning.

I have been looking into returning to Florida for some time now, just to enjoy some sunshine and warm weather plus a few hours of flying, and when the opportunity came along to attend a wedding out there at the end of August, it made sense to kill all three birds with the one stone.

I am setting off on the morning of Friday 26 August, flying from Heathrow to Boston and then onwards to Orlando after a quick plane change. On the way back (Saturday 3 September), it’s direct to Paris and then onwards to Heathrow with Air France. Booking the flight was not quite as easy as expected, however. Travelling at one of the busiest times of the year, a lot of the US airlines could only offer standby seats on their domestic services on the return journey, which was definitely not an option! The ticket – at £506 return – wasn’t the best value for money but booking for the summer holiday period only 6 weeks before travelling, I wasn’t disappointed.